121 Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny (for Parents)
Navigating the turbulent waters of raising a teenager? Get ready for a hilarious journey with these funny quotes!
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Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years. Al Bernstein
Adolescence is perhaps nature’s way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest.
The main problem with teenagers is that they’re just like their parents were at their age. Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
Having a teenager is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses if you try to pet it.
It’s so exciting. My son turned 14, and now he knows everything! Everything! I don’t have to tell him anything anymore because he already knows! In fact, he knows more than I do and more than his dad does! We couldn’t be more thrilled. What a joyous time. Michele Tafoya
I don’t care how many degrees you have, nothing prepares you for a teen who finds their phone didn’t charge overnight.
Nothing makes me more nervous than a text from my teenage son that says ‘How soon will you and mom be home?’ Humor Living
Having children is like living in a frat house nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up. Ray Romano
Kids are a great analogy. You want your kids to grow up, and you don’t want your kids to grow up. You want your kids to become independent of you, but it’s also a parent’s worst nightmare: That they won’t need you. It’s like the real tragedy of parenting. Jonathan Safran Foer
As a mom of teenagers sometimes all I need is a hug and someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. Oh, and a million dollars, a week in the Bahamas and a bottle of wine would be nice too.
Mom Pro Tip: If you’re old enough to critique what I put in your lunch, you’re old enough to make it yourself. Sarcastic Mommy
In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul. Lisa T. Shepherd
I know I’m supposed to be preparing my teenager for life and all, but it’s hard when they already know everything… Whitney Fleming
Sometimes I’m left with the distinct feeling that I am outnumbered by my only child. Colleen Ferrary Bader
I just looked at her and laughed and laughed and laughed until she slowly backed out of the room.
I never really appreciated just how annoying I was until I gave birth to mini versions of myself and started arguing with them when they became teenagers. Raising Teens Today
I have three teenagers. I didn’t get an epidural when I gave birth, but I’d like one now.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. Phyllis Diller
Maybe if I complain about this simple 2-minute task for 25 minutes instead of doing it, it’ll go away. Teenagers Scary Mommy Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children. One Project Closer
Bribes are the glue that kept the teenagers and parents connected for generations. Gayle Forman
The best thing about raising teenagers is that afterward, they’re adults. Sort of.
Teenagers complain there’s nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it. Bob Phillips
As a parent, my goal is to raise confident, independent children who want to go out into the world and pursue their dreams…and then move back to our hometown to live near me forever. Laura Hanby
Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.
Having a daughter in middle school makes you realize every song every written is highly inappropriate. Simon Holland
Teens are not like the weird, dumb dwarves you have around your house. They are actually you when you were younger. Matthew Tobin Anderson
A perfect metaphor for parenting is trying to stand up in a hammock without spilling your wine.
Short
Teenagers are like the cost of living: always rising.
To a teenager, there’s nothing more embarrassing than a parent. Dave Barry Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
I don’t know any teenager with a positive attitude. Gabourey Sidibe
When you’re a teenager, ‘No’ is a complete sentence.
Raising teenagers is like nailing JellO to a tree.
All teenagers have this desire to somehow run away. Joan Chen
Teenagers. Everything is so apocalyptic. Kami Garcia
Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck
The days are long, but the years are short. Gretchen Rubin
Parents of teenagers know why animals eat their young.
Having teenagers is like living with a bowling alley inside your head.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
Can anyone recommend a good wine that pairs well with a teenager’s shi**y attitude?
Parenting: If you’re not tired, you’re not doing it right.
Timeless
Teens are like a box of chocolates; you never know which one of their personalities you’re going to get.
My teen really likes me unless i ask her to do anything, give her advice of any kind, say the wrong things, do the wrong things, or breathe the wrong way. Grown & Flown
The young always have the same problem–how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another. Quentin Crisp
Oh the innocent girl in her maiden teens knows perfectly well what everything means. D.H. Lawrence
No one told us that 98 percent of raising teens is driving them somewhere, waiting for them somewhere, or planning to go somewhere.
Imagination is something that sits up with dad and mom the first time their teenager stays out late.
The funny thing about kids is, they are the reason we lose it and the reason we hold it together.
Never raise your hand to your children-it leaves your midsection unprotected. Robert Orben
Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. Red Skelton Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
Having a teenager in the house is like having a tornado in a trailer park. It’s a bit of a mess, but when it’s gone, you kinda miss it.
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz
Having teenagers is like having a blender that’s always missing the lid. Jim Gaffigan
It’s widely understood that ‘No’ and ‘OK’ are complete sentences for teens.
When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life; car keys. Erma Bombeck
A teenager is always too tired to hold a dishcloth, but never too tired to hold a phone.
The scariest part of raising teenagers is remembering the stupid things you did as a teenager. Whitney Fleming
The best way to get your teenager to do something is to suggest they’re too old to do it. Judith Martin
Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It’s about hanging on during a very bumpy ride. Ron Taffel
Raising teenagers is God’s way of saying you have too much money and free time. Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. Dave Barry
The hardest part about raising teenagers is trying to respond to their behavior like a grown up. Playdates on Fridays
A funny thing about having teens is how they text you from school to tell you they don’t like their lunch. Sarcastic Mommy
I shut my teen’s bedroom door to make my house feel cleaner. Sara Ashlynn
Raising teenagers means understanding that I love you, Mom sounds like Thanks for the Starbucks, bruh.
Doesn’t my teen know that when he tells me I’m embarrassing him it doesn’t make me want to stop. It makes me want to carry on with more intensity than before. Remember all those tantrums you threw in public, kid? WELL IT’S MY TIME TO SHINE.
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. Nora Ephron
Teenagers: too old to be a kid, too young to be an adult, and too cool for you to treat them like either.
I’ll see your toddler tantrum and raise you a teen that just had their phone taken away.
I thought raising teenagers would be like those goofy old Brady Bunch episodes about curfews, acne and dating. It’s not. It’s more like Survivor meets Dateline hang in there and don’t murder anyone.
Teen tried to make a dramatic exit by slamming my door, but there was a towel on the knob. No slam and no dignity for her as I died laughing. Stephanie Ortiz
My teens are all Billy Bad Asses… Until the power goes out. Then they’re shrieking 5year-olds running through the house like it’s on fire. Lady Lawya
Welcome to being the parent of a teenager. Prepare for large amounts of eyerolling, emotional outbursts, and thoughts of running away. And that’s just the parents!
Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath. Arnold H. Glasow
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. Franklin P. Jones Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
Parents are like superheroes; they may not have superpowers, but they always come to the rescue.
The problem with disciplining a teenager is that in no time at all you begin to sound like one yourself.
Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do. Matt Walsh
You think your kid’s room is bad? I watched our Roomba go in the doorway of my teen’s room: looked both ways, and turned right back around and left.
If you doubt my dedication to a higher power, you should see how many prayers I can recite while riding passenger to my teen driver.
My middle schooler has a hydro flask but no cool stickers to put on it. Please respect our privacy during this difficult time. Simon Holland
Sidesplitting
If saying, ‘Pick up your socks,’ and ‘I don’t care what your friends get to do,’ every day for 7 years sounds awesome, you’re going to love having a teenager.
A nice thing my teenage son does to help around the house is tell us when we’re out of the junk food he likes. Abe Yospe
When your child is little, all you want is for them to play alone in their room for an hour so you can have some peace and quiet. Then they become teenagers, and all you want is for them to come out of their room for an hour and actually talk to you.
Real teenage boys aren’t like characters in the books you read. They smell funny and are obsessed with video games and say dumb things. They’re still learning, just like you. Stacey Jay
Parenting teenage boys is basically spending your day asking questions like ‘Whose hoodie is this?’ ‘What happened to all the groceries I just bought?’ ‘Did you shower today?’ and ‘What is that smell?’ Jenni Brennan
Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers. William Galvin
Welcome to parenthood. Hope you like hearing THERE’S NOTHING TO EAT! right after you just spent your life savings at the grocery story. Saracastic Mommy
The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. Lane Olinghouse Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
My son made the mistake of telling me I was being overdramatic, so I changed the WiFi password. We’ll see who’s overdramatic in about five minutes. Sarcastic Mommy
My teenage daughter just walked in my room and said, Mom, if you take my hairbrush can you please remember to put it back?
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. Dorothy Parker
Stay tuned for my next book all about raising a teenager that will be entitled, I don’t know what time it starts or where I’m going or who’s going to be there and I’m annoyed you’re so concerned over minor details. Big Mama
Teenagers are people who act like babies if they’re not treated like adults.
I didn’t bring you up to speak as if your mouth were filled with sewage. Diane Samuels
The average American teenager sends or receives 75 text messages a day, though one girl in Sacramento managed to handle an average of 10,000 every 24 hours for a month. Pico Iyer
According to my teenage sons, the appropriate number of squirts of Axe Body Spray is somewhere between 38 and 579. Lady Lawya
If you want to get closer to God drive in the passenger seat with a teenage driver. You’ll be reciting prayers you haven’t said in years.
When your teenagers are happy, you’re not really needed. When they’re unhappy, they remind you how totally you’re needed.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. Ogden Nash
Vampires and teens have a lot in common. Teens have surging hormones, vampires have surging blood lust. Teenagers think they’re immortal. P. C. Cast
Teens think listening to music helps them concentrate. It doesn’t. It relieves them of the boredom that concentration on homework induces. Marilyn vos Savant Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
No one is ever quite ready; everyone is always caught off guard. Parenthood chooses you. Jennifer Garner
I thought I used to ‘worry’ a lot when my kids were little. Then I had teenagers. You know what I would give right now to worry about sippy cups and naptime? EVERYTHING.
The thing I like about having teens is how they make a bunch of plans because they’re ‘independent’ & then ask to borrow money. Sarcastic Mommy
It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful. Roald Dahl
The hardest part of parenting is realizing that it is your circus, and those definitely are your monkeys. Sarcastic Mommy
How lucky am I that every time I tell my kids to do something, they respond with, ‘I know.’ It’s like I’m living amongst geniuses.
You know you’re the parent of a teenager if they won’t answer any of your calls, but they will call you 30 times in a row until you answer.
You try your hardest to raise your teenagers with patience, honesty and good manners, but they still end up being like you.
One thing I learned from having a teen girl is that now I know that No is a 2-syllable word. Mac Dickson
Having a teenager is like living in a haunted house: every now and then you’ll see a figure in the corner of your eye, hear moaning, and then a door slams. Raising a Teenager Quotes Funny
I remember the first time I heard a teenager say ‘LOL.’ Just what? But it means ‘laugh.’ Why don’t you just laugh? What are you doing? J. K. Rowling
Raising teenagers is like trying to wrestle slippery pigs with your hands tied behind your back.
I went from ‘Mama’ to ‘Mommy’ to ‘Mom’ to ‘Hey, can I have $20?’
Every middle school has 200 coats in lost and found so we know parents tried to make their kids wear a jacket at least once.
The great thing about having teens who sleep until noon is I only have to feed them 2 meals a day. Sarcastic Mommy
Hey teens! If you think you’re angry now, just wait until you have to spend your own money on toilet paper!
Nobody ever feels they’re doing well with teenagers, he said. I think that’s kind of the point of them. Jojo Moyes
Teenage Rebellion: Myth vs. Reality
Teenage rebellion is a topic that often conjures images of tumultuous clashes between parents and adolescents, fueled by hormones and defiance. However, the reality of teenage rebellion is far more nuanced than the sensationalized portrayals often seen in media and popular culture. By debunking common misconceptions and gaining a deeper understanding of this stage of development, parents can effectively navigate and address teenage rebellion with empathy and effectiveness.
One prevailing myth about teenage rebellion is that it is solely a result of defiance or a desire to challenge authority. While conflicts over rules and boundaries are indeed common during adolescence, rebellion often stems from a deeper need for autonomy and identity formation. Teenagers are in the process of establishing their sense of self separate from their parents, and rebellion can be a natural expression of this quest for independence.
Another misconception is that teenage rebellion is always negative or harmful. While rebellion can manifest in behaviors that are challenging for parents to manage, such as defiance, moodiness, or risk-taking, it can also be a sign of healthy development. Experimenting with new ideas, asserting independence, and questioning established norms are all part of the process through which teenagers explore their identity and values.
Understanding the underlying motivations behind teenage rebellion is crucial for parents seeking to address it effectively. Instead of viewing rebellion as a personal attack or a power struggle, parents can approach it with empathy and patience. By acknowledging their teenager’s need for autonomy and offering support and guidance rather than strict control, parents can foster a sense of trust and cooperation.
Effective communication is key to managing teenage rebellion constructively. Instead of resorting to ultimatums or punitive measures, parents can engage in open and respectful dialogue with their teenager. Listening actively, validating their feelings, and expressing concerns without judgment can help bridge the gap between parents and adolescents, fostering mutual understanding and respect.
Additionally, parents can set clear and reasonable boundaries while allowing room for negotiation and compromise. Collaboratively establishing rules and consequences can empower teenagers to take ownership of their actions and learn from their mistakes. By creating a supportive and nurturing environment, parents can help their teenagers navigate the challenges of adolescence with resilience and confidence.
To sum it up, teenage rebellion is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon that defies simplistic stereotypes. By debunking myths and gaining a deeper understanding of its underlying causes, parents can approach teenage rebellion with empathy, understanding, and effectiveness. By fostering open communication, setting boundaries with love, and offering support and guidance, parents can help their teenagers navigate this tumultuous stage of development with grace and resilience.
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